Five Simple Ways to Get Fat

Losing weight can be hard—but getting fat is sometimes too easy. So, now, I’ll be the contrarian. Instead of telling you how to lose weight, I’ll have some fun and tell you how to get fat.

Eat what you want on vacation. Vacation is all about relaxing, and usually that leads to us relaxing about our diets, too. So, instead of sharing a splurge or limiting yourself to one or two really special desserts throughout the week, eat up. You’re guaranteed to not only have to pay overweight on just your luggage, but pay big time when you get home and see the truth on the scale.

Sit and relax on vacation. That’s what it’s for, right? If you seek out the gym or nearby walking or biking trail, you might be tempted to exercise and work off some extra calories. But if you want to get fat, steer clear of those, as well as a walking tour or choosing the stairs over the elevator.

When you’re depressed/stressed/tired, eat. Foods loaded with carbs help raise that feel-good serotonin, so go ahead and indulge. It’ll help you, albeit temporarily. And then you can repeat the whole cycle when your blood sugar plummets and you feel depressed/stressed/tired again. If you’d rather wallow in your bad feelings, steer clear of foods with protein.

Go to a party hungry. After all, there will be great appetizers and lots to drink. It’s always nice to have someone else’s cooking. The food always tastes so much better, doesn’t it? And alcohol is bound to loosen your inhibitions so that you’ll soon lose track of what and how much you’re putting in your mouth.

Watch TV with a bag of popcorn instead of portioning it out in a bowl. You’ll get so engrossed in the latest episode of Dr. Oz that you won’t even notice how much is missing from the bag. What fun are things like frozen grapes or apple slices with a small side of peanut butter when you can pull crunchy stuff out of a bag?

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